Final Fantasy IX

Part 29

Last time, Garnet, Steiner, and Marcus explored around a bit as they made their way to Treno. Also it's been seven months or so since I took these screenshots so I may not remember just what the hell is going on here.

Like, I think someone asked me to take a screenshot of these things. I can understand why.

They hurt. Blizzara is just the tip of things, though.

They will ruin your freaking day if you're not careful.

I wasn't careful.

Now that we've gotten a sneak peak of what writing an update for this LP entails, let's get to the main event: Treno.

FF9 certainly has a ton of nice visual effects.

Speaking of which, apparently it released on Steam since the last update! Go figure.

Treno is quite different from the other cities we've been to so far, in the way that every city in this game is unique from every other city. This place essentially has no middle class. If you live in Treno, you're either very rich or very poor. I'm sure this will sink in as we go into the grimy details of this wonderful city.

Also listen to the damn music you pleb.

We need to find out which noble has the Supersoft.

Oh, right. In case you forgot, Dagger (aka Princess Garnet Til Alexandros XVII aka Captain Dagger aka Buster Sword) and Steiner were going to Alexandria to try to talk sense into her mother, who's currently warmongering and invading Burmecia, the city of rat people. And also because she's kinda pissed at Zidane and wants to prove she can do things without him. On the way, they run into a Tantalus member, Marcus, who's looking for an item called Supersoft in order to save Blank. You see, Blank sacrificed himself to save Zidane and Garnet, so between wanting to help out Blank and considering the Tantalus crew as friends, Garnet decides to take a detour to help ol' Marcus out.

And in case you forgot who Steiner is, well, that's Steiner.

Steal!? How dare you!

How else would we get the Supersoft?

I never asked you to come along. Quit complaining.

Do not interrupt me while I'm talking!

Look behind you.

What!?

No... Not again... Never have I dealt with such hardship during my 18 years of service.

Gone...

With that, we get control of the upstanding Pluto Knight Captain Adelbert Steiner.

After we watch some cutscenes, of course.

This one's actually interactive, unlike the other ATE's. Of course, the interaction here is to hit X when the ! appears to minimize how much gil you get stolen from you.

If you fail to press X, you lose 1000 Gil. Since we succeeded, we lose 500 Gil. Now, you may think that you'd be better off simply not watching this particular cutscene. You're wrong, of course, because money is no issue for us.

Steiner, meanwhile, just stands around like the oaf he is. He gets tired of constantly babysitting the princess who clearly doesn't want to be around him 24/7 so he instead pesters the types of people he clearly despises being around. Because this is a jRPG.

I-I'll protect you!

Oh yeah, finding and making individual portraits for very single NPC in the game is as massive a pain in the ass as you expect, but I feel it makes the presentation worth it. Except I couldn't find artwork for that woman anywhere on the FF Wiki (which is where I grab all the art for these things) so I just cheated and made her dialogue a screenshot instead.

Treno's basically one giant circle and is likely bigger than Alexandria as far as in-game exploration goes. And likewise, there's plenty of cutscenes to check out. Pursuit continues the riveting "Dagger gets robbed" storyline.

We've seen Four-armed Man before. I think. It's been awhile, but I'm pretty sure we've seen him before. Maybe.

Huh...!? Dang it!

Good girls shouldn't be walking around alone at night.

Yeah, thanks for that extra dose of creepiness which just stands out even more so many years later.

And that finishes off that cutscene. Stay tuned for the riveting conclusion of "Dagger gets robbed"!

And now, Confusion! i.e. "Why am I doing this damn LP again."

Yeah, no fucking shit.

Ah... Um... Maybe not this way.

I don't know. I think that guy would make a great Prince of Alexandria myself. I mean, I don't see how he'd be any different from the current queen.

No, I'm looking for an item that cures all petrification...

Oh, really? I'm doing fine, but thanks for asking.

Um, thank you...very much.

This city is amusing as fuck but I certainly wouldn't want to be a tourist here.

It'd be insulting if people didn't always say that to Steiner. Including his subordinates.

HAH. Seriously, the translation for this game is top notch. Utterly fantastic stuff.

Anyway, here's the actual conclusion to the "Dagger gets robbed" storyline. I'm serious this time.

Have you seen a beautiful young princess... I mean, a girl around here?

Do you always refer to Dagger in your head as a beautiful, young princess, Steiner?

What aren't you telling us.

What!? What did you say!?

Wow, you fucking suck at this.

I-I bought a Power Belt with her money. I'll give it to you!

Anyway, getting robbed lets us gain a Power Belt. It teaches Counter (Zidane, Steiner, Freya, Quina), which counters attacks at a chance equal to Spirit, Fira (Vivi obviously, I think he already got this earlier), and MP Attack (Zidane, Steiner, Freya), which uses up 1/8 a character's MP to boost physicals by 50%. Meh. The +3 Strength is neato, though.

He also runs a synthesis shop and rents out a nearby tower to a researcher. Rich people do strange things.

Yeah, it's totally weird when rich people dedicate their money to philanthropy and other business ventures.

Oh hey, remember that trick involving Wrists and Steepled Hats that makes a ton of money? Let's do that again since the game's economy isn't destroyed enough!

I forget which of these items are new and which were in Lindblum. To be fair, I doubt you remember either. Looking it up doesn't count!

Interesting...

But if that's true, there's no chance in the world I could ever afford to buy it.

You never know. If other people spend money buying other items, it could be cheaper.

Or you could just be rich as fuck and have no issues buying every single thing that pops up.

Also, yes, the auction house from FF6 makes its grand return here. It's just slightly more involved, but the idea's the same. More on that in the next update six months from now.

There's still more "Dagger sucks at cities" cutscenes?

Maybe I can find the Supersoft here...

Oh FUCK.

(That's Kuja, the big bad who taunted Zidane and co. after Beatrix kicked their asses back in Burmecia. He's the guy wearing a thong.)

Tetra Master? Fuck you. Also, the bird dude to the left looks drunk as fuck (which I guess you'd have to be if your job was to be the town crier for Magic: The Gathering tournaments).

I need to know how to make the card game not suck.

Dad, don't. Mom doesn't like it when you gamble.

Yeah, Tetra Master is pretty much akin to a slot machine.

We're finally done with Dagger cutscenes, so let's do a Marcus one.

The nobles push us around, right, Sis!?

That's right. They hogged all the waterfront property and forced us up into the hills.

They exploited us to make their money, right, Sis!?

Right. But we can't just sit here and complain, or we'll end up spending the rest of our lives in this miserable place.

We'll never go hungry once we become nobles!

More like, what else is new?

This moogle is getting chased around by a dog.

Uh-huh.

Vube Desert is so far away! Stiltzkin is amazing! Kupo!

I never knew the desert was named Vube. Even when I played this part and took the screenshots months ago, I still likely glossed over that. So there you go, some exclusive FF9 information that you never likely knew about until this Let's Play. I'm still full of suprises!

We can either buy/sell or ask about the massive freaking monster right under us.

He likes to see people challenge it and get beat up.

Alright, we're even richer now.

Apparently this is our last chance to get an Air Racket, I believe, so I buy one or more. You know, however many I need for synthesis.

I guess the Mythril Sword is new since I have a screenshot of it. It teaches Armor Break, which reduces an enemy's defense by half.

The Bandana teaches the passive abilities Insomniac (can't be put to sleep) and Man Eater (extra damage to human creatures). Also slightly boosts Speed and Spirit.

...Life stinks!

This should be the last one. Maybe. Hopefully. Sure, why not.

What the heck are you talkin' about...? Hey, it's you! Where have you been, Marcus?

You know, around.

Heh heh heh... The man's waitin' for you.

Oh hey, it's Baku. You know, the leader of Tantalus, kind of a father figure to Zidane in the way a sneezy laid-back thief leader can be.

A lot happened. I'm kinda tired.

No excuses. You're ready to go.

Yeah, in a noble's mansion. You'll go by boat and break in tonight.

Leave it to me! I'm the one who'll save our bro!

Baku may seem like an oaf, but the guy's always on top of his game.

Mario! Don't tell strangers about our big plan!

We're gonna become nobles! Right, Sis?

FUCK YEAH.

Nothing new here. Probably. I just steal stuff 24/7 anyway so who actually buys consumables.

Pfft, no thanks.

This guy stole a ton of money from some noble's mansion in Treno.

But I can't let you through without my boss's permission. Sorry.

Then the city loops back around to here.

I have to get my usual...

Before we continue, let's go back here and go north instead of south.

First off, a reminder that there's random crap lying everywhere so always explore.

It better not be a fake. That bird lady can tell right away.

So you might remember us getting various Stellazzio. Well, this is where all those things become relevant.

Also, because I forgot to get it, here's Taurus.

At any rate, we'll actually show off the Stellazzio stuff next update. For now, let's finish off by progressing the story a bit.